The writer does not address the needs of the audience. Moreover, the writer has obviously not proofread the letter. The entire presentation is sloppy and unprofessional.
WHAT DOES the AUDIENCE NEED to KNOW?
What is the main idea of your message in relation to audience need?
That I offer a service that is of value to the audience
What are the additional ideas of your message that respond to audience needs?
The author has a positive history with the audience
The author was a success when employed by the audience
The author has enhanced their skills
The author has built a track record of success
The author would like to renew the business relationship
It is to the benefit of the audience that the relationship be renewed
2) i) the approach taken in this document is inappropriate. The author has poor tone. There are multiple spelling and grammatical errors. The author does not understand the needs of the audience. The approach is off-putting and does not give the audience any reason to engage the author in any further communication or dialogue.
ii) a negative feature of the format is the use of the name Richard Campagna twice at the bottom of the letter....
The title "Mssrs" is inappropriate for a single recipient. The document does not contain any contact information for Campagna Public Relations. The document does not use the international date format. The title of the recipient is missing. There is no subject line.
iii) the organization begins poorly, with a sentence that has no place in the letter; the opener needs to be positive. There is little indication in the entire first paragraph as to what the letter is about. The text is not persuasive. The use of three paragraphs to convey what is two ideas at best is also poor organization. There are some positive attributes to the letter's organization. It contains a call to action and attempts to end in an upbeat fashion, although this is poorly executed. The review of the history the two men have together is a positive element that should be introduced early (but only after the purpose for writing has been established).
iii) There are many negative attributes to the writing style of this paper. The tone is overly negative. There are multiple grammatical errors. There are multiple spelling errors. The tone is too casual. There is a lack of persuasive text. The text is not informative, particularly with respect to the reasons why Weinstein should become involved with Campagna.
